Graduating...............& Self-introspection

Time flies.

Again, at a stage where I have to make a few decisions and some my destiny will make for me. It is always hard for me to break out of the "inertia" and accept uncertainty with confidence and hope. I do not know why my head always fears the worst, I am trying hard to shut out that voice which keeps telling me "what if this too doesn't happen the way you want it to".

My mom always tells me to sing to myself "count your blessings" when in doubt. But I have always found myself doing otherwise. I always tend to keep with me all the bad memories and easily forget the nice things that happen to me. I need to change, I know. I dont like troubling myself with those negative voices either.

I am learning, trying to make a change in me. And it is happening, very slowly but something is changing for sure. Its been a few weeks since I am in this "self-improvisation" mode. I do not know, but its been crazy how once after the other realizations are setting in , I guess I am growing up .. finally.. :)

Some MAJOR things I learnt about myself:

a) I am stubborn. Till my own reasoning falls through no one on the face of earth can convince me, whatever the matter be. I should not do that always. I mean it is one thing to believe in whatever you do and another thing to be so stuck on your beliefs that accepting or even listening to another opinion seems sinful. It blocks you from your own good. If u suffer from this disorder too... get rid of it ASAP.

b) I do not know how to stay in touch with people, Its not that I do not remember them . I do , i miss family, friends. But i do not express it , i do not know why . I guess , I am just plain lazy or may be I just prefer talking face to face , than phone or e-mail .